May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You took a bar mat shot.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize