When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Randomize
