I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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