also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize