ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
