I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
