There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
