I think I died a long time ago.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
