We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
