Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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