I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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