I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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