Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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