The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
wanna go halves on a baby?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize