Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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