you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
