the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
