holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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