I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
