Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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