We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
