we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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