? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
