so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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