I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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