I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
