So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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