my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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