so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
tell me about the fingering
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
