Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
