I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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