That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he fucked my hip out of place.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
