Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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