i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I don't deserve a penis
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
