____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
