and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I love you. Go after that dick
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
