So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize