I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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