I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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