Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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