i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
