I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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