Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
