My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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