im so drunk with asians
where?
always
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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