I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Randomize
