it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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