She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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