i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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