walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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