just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
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