I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
