Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
