You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
