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There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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