NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
