there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
