so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
