Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
