All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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