I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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