My Higher Power is John Stamos
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Your topless pictures make me question reality
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
