i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
