ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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