So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
