I molested 6 butterflies tonight
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
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