forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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