I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Dick very happy bro
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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