I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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