just come out here and I will go home with you...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
