Pants 0. Shit 1.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Green mimosas i think yes
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
