I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize