just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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