So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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